Continuing with my blogs dedicated to Brain Injury Awareness Month, one of the biggest struggles I have faced has been learning to balance my brain injury and my relationships. My relationships with my friends, family, and boyfriend have all changed in different ways, because of my injury. I have lost people in my life that I never thought I would lose, but I have also learned to truly appreciate the people who have stuck by me.
To be clear, this is not a post that is putting anyone who doesn't understand brain injuries down, because I will be the first one to admit that I had no idea what people with TBI's went through before my experience. There have been times that I have pushed people away, because I did not understand what was going on with my brain. Other times, I was too scared about what was going on and continued to push people away. So it is important to remember that it takes two people for a relationship or friendship to dwindle out. What I also keep in mind is that going through a traumatic experience of any kind can change your way of thinking about life. There is nothing wrong with this, but that change can cause the way that people can relate to you.
When I received my brain injury, I was across the country from my family. I was having the best time of my life at college. I felt connected to my teammates, my boyfriend was only two hours away, and I was living a normal college experience. I loved being a student-athlete and all the friendships that I gained through the athletic community. The whole community was connected and I was in the thick of it all, but that slightly changed when I was concussed.
During my recovery, I spent about a month in bed. I slept most of the day. When I could get out of bed I was just doing what I could to get homework done and making it to doctors appointments. My lifestyle changed dramatically, because I had to plan out ever detail of my day. If I deviated from my schedule than there was a risk of not accomplishing what I had to get done. It was my decision to stay in classes during this time, so my main priorities were my health, schoolwork, and team. So everything outside of those three priorities were hard to me to keep up with.
Thankfully, I had people around me who were my rocks. My roommates were always there for me when I needed help. One of my teammates, who was also severely concussed during that semester, would go with me to my appointments and classes. We got each other to and from class and would make sure we did not leave each other alone. On the weekends, my boyfriend would drive two and a half hours make sure I was not alone. My family was my support from a far. During this time, I was trying to balance keeping myself afloat and keeping my relationships intact.
Over the last two years, I have lost a lot of people, most of the reason for losing them was because our lives became so different. Everyone else was still living the fun, college lifestyle, but I could not do that. I wanted to go out on the weekends, stay up with my friends all night, and connect with everyone around me, but I had to change the way I lived. It was hard knowing some of my most important relationships were dwindling, but I had to recenter and realize that I wouldn't change my lifestyle if I didn't have to. This transition gave me a taste of how most friendships could go in life. We are all at different points in life. Sometimes that makes it hard to relate to people, who do not understand your lifestyle.
I had a much different perspective on life before my injury than I do know. I had a unique college experience, but coming out of it I truly know who will be by my side for the rest of my life. Some relationships crumble when one person goes through a traumatic injury, while other relationships will strengthen. It is hard to understand what a brain injury does to a person unless you have had an experience, but it is important to try and see both sides.
I am so lucky for the people who were patient and understanding with me during my injury. They helped me through the most difficult time in my life and I will do anything for them. Be patient and understanding to those around you as we don't always know what they may be going through.
Stay Safe and Healthy!