March is Brain Injury Awareness Month, and I can't tell you how much I wish there did not have to be a month dedicated to brain injuries. Sadly, there is not enough information or awareness around brain injuries, but that can all change with more support. In all transparency, I have written and rewritten this post multiply times. Bringing awareness to this cause has become so personal to me that it is hard to put all into one post. So over the course of this month I will be writing about how different areas of my life were affected by my brain injury. I would like to preface this post by saying I am not a doctor. I wanted to write this for the people who are currently or have experienced a brain injury just to help them remember that they are not alone. Also, for anyone who is close to someone who has a brain injury to maybe get a better understanding of what they are going through, because having support from loved ones will truly make a huge difference in a person's recovery.
First off, I think it is important to establish the difference between a concussion and a TBI (traumatic brain injury). When you look at the definition of a concussion and a TBI there really is no difference between the two conditions. What I have learned is that by saying you have a concussion, the reaction is a lot less panic than saying you have a TBI. But I don't want to get too wrapped up into what we should call it, because one of the main problems with brain injuries is trying to put them into a certain category.
There are different types of traumatic brain injuries, but what I did not know before my injury was that it does not necessarily matter how hard the hit is. There is more significance on where on the skull the blow was received. This was an important concept for me to understand, because I had to learn that it did not matter how hard I got hit. I was not being a wimp and this was pain that I could not push through. When I got my last concussion I did not think it was that serious, but the symptoms were so much worse than I had ever experienced.
I thought I would lay in the dark for a few days and work my way back to normal life just like I had in the past. Then days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and now I am two years out and am still suffering post concussion symptoms. The frustration of not being able to read a book, wake up without a headache, or get through a whole day without pain is beyond words. I did not understand why it was taking so long for me to heal and I wish I could say I am past the frustration. Everyday, I have to remind myself to give my brain the grace it deserves. It is much easier to be patient and understanding to those around you than to yourself.
In addition to giving yourself the time and understanding to heal, a huge component is having support from people around you. When I went through the first year of my brain injury, I was an emotional wreck. Brainline explains that TBI's can change the way people feel or express their emotions, because that can be the part of the brain that was damaged.
When you know and see your emotions change, you can also see how it is affecting your relationships. There were so many times when I felt my emotions being irrational, but I did not know how to always keep them in check. I spent so much time trying to hold in those emotions or recognize between my concussion emotions and my "real" emotions. If you have felt this than I want you to release yourself from that angst. The way that you feel or your roller coaster of emotions may not always be rational and that is okay. Part of being understanding is being okay with a new normal. A brain injury will change your life in ways that you may not want, but that does not mean it has to change who you are.
Give yourself a break, love your noggin, and remember all that what you are feeling is valid. The symptoms of a brain injury will bring so ups and downs, but don't try to bear it all by yourself. You are not alone!